Saying “no”? Oh yeah, also important. Yep.

Okay, so there are good ways and bad ways to tell people “no.”

If at all possible, unless you are being accosted by someone, please start at the most polite reply and work your way up to the harshest reply.

Sometimes, we think that people are aware of how they hurt us previously by over-asking, and the truth is, they have no clue.

So if they approach you a month later, and you are just cooking because you are so mad at the way they didn’t respect your unspoken boundaries, they won’t understand why you are being so nasty by saying, “no. go away.”

Even if you don’t feel like it, practice saying,

“Thanks for offering, but I’m not interested.”

“Um, no, I really can’t. I am booked this entire month. Sorry!”

“You know, let me think about it. I have to check my calendar.”

“Hey, so I checked my calendar, and I am free, but if I do what we were thinking about doing, I will get sick, I already have a sore throat.”

“That’s actually hard for me to draw right now, and if I mess up, I’d feel horrible. Sorry, I can’t do this commission.”

Guys, I know that the girls always get the “sorries” but you should consider adding a “sorry” to your “no.”

“Sorry, I can’t do that.”

“No, I’m not interested – sorry.”

“I’m sorry I’ll miss your game!”

Take away the sorry, and we get:

“I can’t do that.”

“No, I’m not interested.”

“I’ll miss your game!”

So…that sounds really rude when read or heard, because it sounds like you are just being unbending or mean. Please add a sorry to those statements, even if you don’t feel sorry. You aren’t lying; you’re defending your relationships.

Think of it when we say, “Sorry, Mrs. V, we can’t fix this problem on the platform until tomorrow.” We are very polite to our customers and players, right?

Same thing goes for internal interactions!

“I can’t make it – sorry.”

Ladies, I want you to turn the “sorries” down a notch, if you can manage, please! You apologize profusely on things that are completely not your fault, like if someone bumps into you in the hallway, and you apologize first.

Please omit any “sorry” that bubbles up to your lips when you are afraid of making someone angry. Usually profuse apologies will make anyone mad, because they wonder if you’re afraid of them or don’t like them from the way you apologize the way you do. So for you? Only apologize if you literally stepped on the guy’s foot by accident, okay? Not if he steps on yours!

My companies! I understand that we are always strapped for politeness, but if you are in a position where you are telling people they did not get the job or the position they applied for, or if you are in a position where you are emailing or chatting through text in real time, please remember that even if you feel super bad or very sympathetic, and you write your heartfelt 2-sentence reply that they did not get the position, they will feel very bad.

They will feel worse if it is automated.

When we let people down through email, especially for job applications, it would be good to consider revamping the rejection system.

The best rejection I ever received came from an influencer in the productivity sphere, and at one time, years ago, he put out to all of his subscribers that he was going to be creating a podcast. It was about X focus, and the position was for Y role, and please send your application to Z. So I did. I qualified. I applied cold. I sent in my writing sample, which I had worked very hard on for days to match the ideal podcast “voice” that this influencer had.

Come a few weeks later, I received an email saying that I had made the first cut, and I was in the top 25% of applicants. There were over 2,000 people who had applied. I was so surprised!

“Wow! My writing is that good!”

Well, some more weeks passed, and I got a follow-up email that said, “Sorry you didn’t get chosen for the second round,” and a few more sentences.

I don’t remember feeling the sting of rejection that time.

I got a “no,” for sure! But it didn’t matter, because I knew I was in the top 25% of over 2,000 applicants, and that meant I was in the top 500 at least. I still pride myself on that rejection, too!

Ways to rewrite your rejections of applicants could be in the spirit of the following examples:

Hi [first name of applicant] –

Thanks for applying for X position.

We reviewed what you submitted, and it didn’t match what we need at this time.

We encourage you to apply to other positions that you may be eligible for in the future.

For future success, we noticed that you did not copyright your IP submissions in your portfolio and were concerned that someone could take advantage of your talent. Next time you apply to our company or any other, please make sure you show proof of your copyright for your work, so no one will have a chance to steal it.

Thank you,

[your company name & team]

—

Hi [first name of applicant] –

We’re sorry to tell you that we did not select your application for a second consideration.

Our team noted that your art is excellent and we admire it! For now, your work is actually better suited for another video game company with your style exact, but our company does not use that style currently.

Please consider applying to X company in the future! You can say we referred you there!

Cordially yours,

[your company name & recruiter’s name]

—

Hey [applicant’s first name here]!

So, we actually picked an applicant that applied for the same position you applied for from last year. Yours was the last application we were reading before the decision was made, and we wanted you to know that we did not fully consider your submissions, because we were told the news in the middle of everything.

Your work is excellent, and we wanted you to apply for other similar positions at other companies, because your application was the strongest we’ve seen!

Sorry and good luck!

[Your company name & hiring team]

—

Hello [applicant’s first name nere]!

In the process of reviewing your application, we noted that your portfolio is not up to industry standards and wanted you to know how to fix it for the next round of applications you put in, including for this position again, if you are willing.

We do not accept AI generated images that our applicants claim they did. We have an exact replica of this image from 5 other applicants and their art portfolios, and that is not legal.

Please do not include AI generated images in your art portfolio going forward for our company, thank you.

[Your company name & rep]

—

[Applicant’s first name here] —

This is an automated message to let you know that we have considered your application for X position.

At this time, your art portfolio shows promising work, but for this position, you would need to strengthen your skills in D, E, and F to be brought on board.

As your work is not at this level yet, we are not able to hire you for X position.

However, if you decide you would like to work in this position in other companies as well, please work diligently on D, E, and F, and you should have no problem getting in somewhere.

All the best,

[Company name & advisor]

—

So as you have read, and as you can see, the difference between a usual automated, no-reply and these examples is that you are giving something back to your applicants.

Many applicants may not know that submitting an AI generated image and saying they digitally painted it is not a good thing. They may know that you don’t accept any lewd images, etc., but the AI one may not cross their minds.

Many applicants have no idea that their art skills may not be up to par for the position they applied for, and it’s good to catch people early, otherwise you will lose a perfectly good pool of people who could have been great additions to your company, but…were completely missed by accident.

While you are aware that applicants 200 – 232 were perfect for your rival company, none of your applicants, neither 200 nor anyone including 232 has any clue. They are great for what now? Huh? And you will feel like resting your head on your keyboard abruptly. Please tell them that they are a match to your rival company. You know why? If you start, your rival company will begin referring your matches to you when they also have a privileged 201 – 233 applicant pool that is perfect for you and not them.

It’s learning to tell people “yes” even as we say “no.” It makes the sting go away. Even one comment to an applicant that they are very strong, but it happened to be in the process something else went wrong, they will understand, and they will try again with great enthusiasm.

It’s a tiny adjustment. Nothing big, but it helps you to educate your applicant pool when it isn’t practical or even good for you to set up a hypothetical Q&A session at the front of your company.

Your applicants are smart. They will learn, and they will get better just for that one word from you, no problem!